For many years I kept a diary. I wrote every day and wrote about everything that had happened, what I’d done, where I’d been, who I’d seen, my thoughts…..everything. I wrote it all down on paper which I put in files, separating the different months with coloured spacers. A different coloured spacer for every month, a different coloured file for each year. I kept the files in a big box. The idea was that I’d be able to look back and see what I’d done on a particular day or week or month. As the box got fuller with files I thought in might be easier if I got bigger files, they would be month files rather than year files……I’d have twelve files one for each month.
I kept this going for quite some time until one day I realized that apart from it taking up a lot of my time each day, I had twelve massive files taking up a lot of space and more importantly and disturbingly I was spending my time looking back, looking at my past.
Obviously what has happened in our past shapes our present and in many ways our future but constantly dwelling in the past isn’t healthy, and it certainly wasn’t doing me any good.
So what to do?
I made the decision to stop writing the diary!
I had stopped writing it but was I going to do with the files? I didn’t want anyone else to read them, I couldn’t just put them in the bin, I couldn’t burn them (people round here are offended by the smell of bonfires!) So I shredded them……….
This is January……..or should I say, this is twelve years of January!
This is twelve years of January’s from my diary, shredded and hand rolled. Each disk is wrapped in the shredded coloured paper spacers that had separated the months.
The diaries don’t exist any more or rather they exist but they can’t be read in the same way!